How to Know If You’re Choosing the Right Doula for You
- Cheyenne Williamson
- Jun 10
- 2 min read
Because birth is too important to settle for “meh.”
Choosing the right doula is a little like choosing a therapist, a wedding planner, and a rollercoaster seat-mate all rolled into one. You’re inviting someone into a deeply personal, vulnerable, and powerful experience. So how do you know if a doula is the right fit for you?
Here are a few things to consider as you explore your options—whether you’re casually doula-curious or ready to make it official.
You Feel Comfortable Being Yourself Around Them
Birth isn’t a performance. It’s raw, emotional, sacred—and sometimes messy. The right doula is someone you feel safe with, not someone you feel like you need to impress.
Do you feel seen and heard in conversations with them?
Can you ask questions without feeling silly?
Does their presence put you at ease?
If you’re already exhaling just talking to them, that’s a very good sign.
Their Values Align with Yours
Doulas aren’t there to push their agenda—they’re there to support yours. But it still helps when your values overlap, especially when it comes to things like:
Advocacy and informed consent
Birth preferences (e.g., unmedicated, epidural, VBAC, cesarean)
Cultural awareness, inclusivity, and respect for your unique needs
You don’t need to agree on everything, but alignment on core values can make the support feel so much more natural.
They Offer the Type of Support You Want
Some doulas are super hands-on with massage and physical comfort measures. Others shine in emotional coaching or birth planning. Some are full-spectrum doulas who offer support beyond just labor. Think about:
What kind of support do you want during labor?
How important is prenatal/postpartum support to you?
Do you want your doula to help your partner feel more confident, too?
Make sure their style of support matches what you’re looking for—and don’t be afraid to ask for specifics!
You Trust Their Communication and Boundaries
Birth is unpredictable. You want a doula who is clear, dependable, and responsive.
Do they explain their availability and backup plans clearly?
Do you know how to reach them when you need support?
Do they respect your time, space, and decisions?
Boundaries are a two-way street, and good communication is the pavement. ✨
Your Gut Says “Yes”
Look, you can read all the reviews and ask all the questions—but sometimes, your gut just knows. Maybe it’s their energy, their laugh, the way they answered that one question—you feel it.
Trust it. Birth is intimate, and your intuition is part of the team.
Still Not Sure?
That’s okay! Many doulas (myself included) offer free consultations so you can ask questions, feel things out, and take your time before deciding. You deserve a birth team that feels supportive, empowering, and aligned with you.
If you’re in Central Indiana and looking for a doula who believes in informed choices, low-pressure support, and a little humor along the way—I’d love to chat. You can learn more about my services at here.
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